


Survivor's Thanksgiving

by LadyLustful



Category: Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Genre: Absurd, Aldo is a hilarious murderous well-meaning disaster, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bad Puns, Based on a Dream, Basterd banter, Comedy, Farce, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Happy Ending, Krav Maga, Nonsense, Post-War, Silly, Thanksgiving Dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:56:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLustful/pseuds/LadyLustful
Summary: The Inglourious Basterds survive the war and reunite at Aldo's to celebrate. Silly crack.
Relationships: possible Archie Hicox/Shosanna Dreyfus
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Survivor's Thanksgiving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FakeCirilla9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeCirilla9/gifts), [flightinflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/gifts).



> Kudos is extra sugar rations for the Basterds, and Gawd knows killin' Naht-zees is hungry work!

"If we survive, and Hell we gonna survive, y'all invited to my place for Thanksgiving", Aldo had said in France, in a oak forest golden and chill with fall. "It ain't fancy, but there's gonna be homemade food and booze, 'specially booze, and I expect we gonna have a lot to be thankful for."  
  
It took them a while, and it's not another three and a half weeks till Thanksgiving, but they are here, in Maynardville Tennessee, seeing Raine's house for the first time.  
It's a surprisingly nice place, for what is essentially a hundred-year-old wood cabin inhabited by a bachelor moonshiner and unoccupied for a couple years. It's mostly the trees, an old orchard left to grow wild until it resembled a primal deciduous forest of fruit trees and walnuts. The yard is packed earth, roughly rectangular, a little wet from recent rain, and obviously has been tidied up in a hurry if the junk heaped against the side of the ramshackle shed is any indication. Inside there is one room, big enough for a coarse old wooden table that can seat the Basterds, though uncomfortably close, a closed door, and an open kitchen door, through which their Lieutenant, now a Major (which, he jokes, makes him sound like he's a "kinda fuckin' weather"), can be seen and heard.  
  
„Y'all ready for some gourmet cuisine?”  
Hicox, who speaks fluent French, and Shosanna, who has actually lived in France, chorus: „As long as you never ever say gourmet cuisine again.”  
  
First course, tomato noodle soup, and half the second, chicken and vegetables and mashed potatoes („with vegetable shortening, I know y'all Jewish folks ain't supposed to eat meat and milk together if ya can help it”) is spent catching up.  
Shosanna and Archie may or may not be a thing but they've certainly gone halves on a little cinema in a girly-sounding town up in the Catskills. Utivich is writing a book, a two-hundred-odd pages in and not nearly halfway done. Donny's taken up a new sport besides baseball, something called Krav Maga. Aldo is deeply apprehensive of Donovitz being involved in any sport that has to do with beating people but there are no bats and he killed nobody yet so it might just be fine. What Stiglitz does is too clandestine for him to say but he's having a hell of a lot of fun doing it and apparently seeing someone, nothing serious yet.  
„I swear your cooking was better in France”, says Donny, even as he spoons seconds generously onto his plate. „How the hell did you manage to cook better in a Nazi-occupied forest than your own goddamn home, Apache?" He point the spoon at Aldo, who looks innocent and offended.  
  
Shosanna looks at her plate thoughtfully, like she is figuring out its secrets.  
"There are walnuts in everything. Why are there walnuts in everything?"  
"I got too many goddamn walnuts."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I got nothing against walnuts, but they got no place in chicken and mashed potatoes, and to put them there is just... nuts.


End file.
